


Trying To CHASE Away The Sour MELODY

by MaxandMatthew24



Series: The Endless Intrusive Thoughts Train [4]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game), ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)
Genre: Anger, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28889964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxandMatthew24/pseuds/MaxandMatthew24
Summary: READ THE TAGS BEFORE READING AND TURN AWAY IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASE AND THANK YOU
Series: The Endless Intrusive Thoughts Train [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069916
Kudos: 15





	Trying To CHASE Away The Sour MELODY

**Author's Note:**

> Teehee name cringe, it was that or “trying to chase away the sour medley, I hate it” lmao 
> 
> Anyway, had a breakdown so I’m writing it as Setsuna. It makes sense, when you start reading it 
> 
> Also I don’t think people understand that breaking down doesn’t necessarily mean that the people breaks down crying, I do break down crying but most of the time it comes off as extreme anger

_ “You’re so stupid! You’re gonna be held back with these grades!”  _

_ “You’re acting so strange! Why are you acting like that?!”  _

_ “Nana! Why can’t you act more like [family member]?!”  _

_ Shut up...shut up...SHUT UP!  _

Setsuna wanted to scream so badly. But she had to hold back her tongue to her parents. Especially her mother. Her mother’s harsh words from Setsuna’s childhood flooded her mind. It was hard to act like the perfect student when her mother would constantly say these things to her. 

Setsuna felt her blood boiling as her hands turned into fists. She paced around her room in circles with her jaw clenched. It was getting more and more difficult to stop herself from hitting something. But there was nothing around her room to take out her frustration. The only thing she could do was to ride it out and not let her parents hear her pacing. 

Her mother sounds annoyed when she asks what’s wrong to her and her father doesn’t even talk to her. She grew to hate her name from the consistent anger filled yells of her name by her mother. Being Setsuna was her escape from it all. If she could, she would change her name to Setsuna Yuki in a heartbeat. 

As Setsuna continues to pace around, she makes gestures like she was going to punch the wall. She would get to the wall and throw a punch at it but turn at the last second. Then on occasion, she would run her hands on the back of her head. Her parents can’t know how she’s feeling. But she wants to scream at the top of her lungs. She wanted to throw things at the wall, break a hole in the wall. 

The frustration was getting more and more overwhelming. Setsuna gets to her bed, leans forward and plants her hands on the bed. Her hands squeeze on the blanket, trying to let out some of the frustration. Looking over at the clock, it was already too late to try calling one of her friends. It was late for her to be up. 

After trying to do some breathing exercises, the frustration lowered very slowly. Even for her to repress the frustration for now. It was the best she could do, there was so much on her plate that having a breakdown wouldn’t help. Was she too stressed for her own good? Yes, does she still need to live up to expectations? Do you really need to ask? 

_ “You’re so stupid.” _

_ “You’re _

_ So _

_ Stupid.”  _

_ Mother please… I promise I’m trying!  _

_ “You’re so stupid.”  _

No matter how hard Setsuna tried to push away that comment, it would always come back eventually. Being eight years old and having your mother call you stupid will stick with you, no matter the age. Setsuna wants to stand up to her mother so badly but she’ll just get yelled at like always. Her mother would probably yell at her more for her father. 

But at the end of the day, she still loves her mom. She takes care of her and tries to be there for her all the time. Been to every large event Setsuna is a part of as Nana, driving an hour to see her when she went into the psych ward twice, and make sure she will be taken care of. How conflicting is that? They will never understand her and play with her emotions and yet, she still loves them. What a sour melody that is. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so tired and I had to repost it cause my phone is giving me issues ahh anyway if I’m missing a tag let me know I’m too tired to figure this shit out


End file.
